Parenting is such an emotional roller coaster. As a parent, there are certain milestones you both wait for and dread at the same time. I envisioned the first day of school with Jake wrapped tightly around my leg screaming, “I DON’T WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL, I WANT TO STAY WITH YOU MOMMY!!!” Tears streaming down his face with all of the other parents giving me a sympathetic head tilt to the side. At least I had secretly hoped so.
I tried to explain why Mommy might cry at school and that I was really happy. Predictably, the WHY questions followed. Why are you going to cry? Why do you want me to still be a baby? Why am I getting older? Why am I going to die when I get old? I couldn’t help it, “Those are great questions that daddy can answer when he gets home.”
On his first day of school, I was frantically feeding the boys lunch while trying to get Jake dressed and take some pictures. Twelve thirty, crap. “Honey, we’re almost ready to go to your first day of school and daddy and mommy get to stay with you!” Defiantly, “No, I just want to be with the other kids. I don’t want you guys to go.” Ugh, So much for the handouts on separation anxiety. My husband and I loaded the boys up and headed to school. Daddy was shooting pictures and I was smiling nervously trying not to cry. This wasn’t my first day, why was I nervous?
When we arrived we couldn’t have been more non-existent as he bounded into class, smile from ear to ear. Josh and I quietly backed away and into the shadows so as not to intrude on his new environment. Needless to say his first day did not go as I had envisioned.
It’s all for the best. We have many similar milestones ahead of us so we better get used to it. Jake reminded me on the way home, “Mommy, you forgot to cry!” I leaned over and kissed his forehead, “You’re right, I guess I did.” Isn’t parenting great?
